Thinking about the past makes it more confusing to look forward. The past seems never far away, it backs off for few days and then spins straight at me with hurricane winds trying to unsettle the ground beneath me that has become a place of peace for a few moments in the day, where I don’t feel the weight of the past on my shoulders, where my mind is clear as the sky without the traumatic memories flying around in my mind.
The memories are disjointed, the clips of pain they don’t seem to fade just waiting to haunt me once again. Encased in my mind, these memories, the sounds, the smell, the fear is still so real, so present even through it is not happening now, my mind won’t rest, won’t disconnect itself from the past. The memories stay rattling in my brain waiting to break free.
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